The Wellbeing Hour #41 The Power of Authentic Leadership

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Headtorch Wellbeing Hour Prudence Pitter

Amy: Welcome everybody to the Headtorch Wellbeing Hour with me, Amy McDonald.
Angus: And me, Angus Robinson. We’ll introduce you to today’s guest, Prudence Pitter, in a few moments. As you settle in, heads up, we are recording this, so you will be able to listen to this as a podcast on Spotify and all the usual podcast channels. Please do follow us on them. It does make a difference and we really appreciate you doing that.
At Headtorch, we work with organisations to create a mentally Healthy Culture. The Wellbeing Hour is a really important extension of our work. I’ll be back in a little while when we field some of your questions to our guest. Amy.
Amy: Yeah, and we look forward to hearing those questions and thoughts from those of you who are joining us live. Before then, I’ll also be asking, my own questions of our guest speaker today. Questions such as being at the wrong end of poor leadership. What was that like for you? Early on in your career in hospitality
what did an excellent leader teach you? And what does it mean to be an authentic leader? Today’s session is called The Power of Authentic Leadership, and joining us for this conversation, I am absolutely delighted to say is Prudence Pitter, who is the Global Head of HR at Amazon Web Services, Automotive, Manufacturing, Healthcare and Life Sciences.
Prudence we’ll shortly be hearing, all about you and your story and the adventures that you have been on, but before we go any further, we’ve got a question to share here with everybody who’s joining us. A question from Prudence for you to consider as we go through today’s session.
And here it is. How has authentic leadership enhanced your wellbeing at work? And you’ll find this question in the chat for you to respond to as Prudence and I go into conversation and a little later on we’ll come back to your thoughts on this question. And of course do put in there any other thoughts, any other questions that come to you as we go through today’s, Wellbeing Hour.
So it gives me great pleasure to introduce our guest Prudence Pitter. How did we meet? We met really because I saw that Prudence was speaking at a CIPD event down in London and I thought, wow, she looks utterly amazing. I really want to hear her, but unfortunately I wasn’t able to attend that event.
Amy: So I contacted Prudence. on good old LinkedIn, and voila, here we are today. So thank you so much Prudence for responding to my call. Prudence Pitter is an executive with over 25 years of HR leadership expertise over several industries. In addition to her corporate HR and consulting experiences, she’s previously served as an adjunct professor of HR for over nine years.
She also serves on multiple boards, and she volunteers her time to help junior HR professionals hone their skills. She loves to deliver leadership development presentations to HR and business leaders, inspiring them to align people practices to business priorities and keep the employees experience
as a key focus. Prudence, welcome, welcome to the Wellbeing Hour. Please share your mystery object with us today.
Prudence: Yes, absolutely. Hi, Amy. Thank you so much for that warm welcome. I love the buildup. Nothing like a good feeling on a Monday morning. I know for many of you, it’s afternoon. For me, it is morning, and I see one familiar name in the chat who got up super early to be on this from the West Coast in California.
Hi, Trudy. So Prudence, Pitter, as Amy mentioned, been in HR for over 25 years, mostly in hospitality. Amy called that out in her intro as well, and I’m super excited to talk about employee wellbeing and wellbeing in the workplace as a whole. As part of the preparation, Amy asked me to have a mystery object, to show, and this is pretty easy for me.
So for me, what I have here is a mouse pad, and this mouse pad has pictures of all my 5 children, me, as well as my husband. And if you’ve ever heard me deliver a keynote, you know that my second slide is a photo of my family. I’m very proud to be a mother of five. I’m very proud that the oldest is 29 and the youngest is 6, so I usually start off with that.
But part of the reason why I do that is to remind leaders that everyone has someone that they’re really connected to, who cares about them and they care about as well. So as we think about employee wellbeing and we think about the impact we have on others wellbeing in the workplace, it’s important that we think not only about the individual in front of us, but everyone else that they love and everyone else that loves them.
I love to say that when I’m living my best life, so are my children. And when I’m not thriving at work, they are impacted as well, and that, I don’t believe I’m special in that. Many, if not all of us have someone that we’re really connected to who really cares about our overall wellbeing, and likewise. And so it’s a, it’s a ripple effect when wellbeing is negatively impacted.
And certainly it’s positive. when employees are thriving and their wellbeing is at their best.
Amy: Wow, thank you so much, Prudence. Yes, Prudence is coming in live, folks, from Connecticut today, where you live, right? So thank you so much for getting up bright and bright and early to, to be with us. What a lovely mystery object as well. What is that whole sense of connection, with your family?
What’s the main thing that that brings for you?
Prudence: I would say peace. I grew up with my grandparents. So I like to say that I’m blessed to have two sets of parents, my grandparents and my parents. And I grew up having a lot of love and attention as part of my upbringing. And so it’s natural for me to ensure that I am protecting my children and giving them the overall sense of peace that I had growing up.
I remember being in a leader’s office and seeing his mousepad and, he had different pictures of his daughter and I was like, how did you get that? I want that! And so now I have two mouse pads, with outdated pictures at this point, but, it’s still really grounded for me to have my family close to me as I go through the day.
I have an electronic photo, frame behind me that has different memories that shuffle throughout the day, but having the mouse pad like right under my mouse that I click so many times per day really helps me to feel a little bit closer, to them.
Amy: Great. Peace. Feeling grounded, such important, um, qualities, aren’t they, for us to have with us on a sort of semi regular basis, if we can. Yeah. so really delighted, as I said, that you could be with us today, Prudence. Folks, we are gonna dive more deeply into conversation now,
so please, do add your thoughts and comments to the chat as Prudence and I, chat and we’ll come back to your responses in a little while. So, Prudence, you started, studying accountancy, I believe, initially way, way back but what made you realize that actually that wasn’t the career for you?
Prudence: Yeah, it was a connection with an HR leader. I was working very closely with the HR department while I was in a very junior role in a financial organization. And I remember, once sitting in the waiting room and waiting for a meeting with her, and as I watched the different interactions that were taking place in the HR office, I wanted to learn more.
It seemed a little bit more personal than what I was experiencing conducting financial transactions. So I was fortunate to have a mentor and a leader to connect with very early in my career, simply out of curiosity. How is your department different than mine? And that led to the opportunity to explore the human resources field through temporary assignments.
So, it really was recognizing a difference in a more personalized approach, right? There wasn’t a group of individuals that were connecting. It was individual connection, the employees with the HR leader, and I thought that that was special and different and there was a privacy to it and a mystery,
and so I wanted to learn more of how HR functions and how it was different than the accounting department.
Amy: Wow. So what was that person in HR there in that particular business, how did that person show authenticity in the way that they shared that initial message with you?
Prudence: It was interesting because what I saw was all positive. And what she did for me was help me, get a little bit into the experience behind those closed doors. So some of those conversations were employee investigations, right? There were issues that employees were having that could lead to either a write up or a termination.
But for me, it was how it was handled, right? The fact that she was helping me recognize that it wasn’t all individuals coming in to fill out applications or to sign up for direct deposit. This of course, was many years ago, so a lot of what we do online right now was, very much manual, process, right?
You visit the HR department for some of this, but she did a good job of helping me recognize that it was not all positive. There were some things that were happening that were not necessarily things that would be shared with me as far as detail, but if the HR function was a function that I was interested in, it was important that I understand that beyond the hiring, beyond the interviewing, beyond some of those positive things that take place, things go wrong at times, right?
Employees, might need to be investigated for theft or for inappropriate behaviour and a lot of that fell on, on the HR team.
Amy: So it’s not a straightforward role at all, right? Quite often you’re having to deal with very challenging conversations and, and the need for authenticity in that must be key, right?
Prudence: Yes, absolutely. Absolutely. The other thing, too, that, she shared was, empathy. And the fact that I could sit outside and see employees go back and forth and not recognize that from one conversation to the other, it could have been something negative, meant that it was handled well, right? I didn’t see anyone coming out and throwing a tantrum, which meant that she was a leader that came from a place of empathy, but also came from a human place, and recognized that no matter how terrible, the news that you’re giving someone, right, you’re being suspended, you’re being terminated. This doesn’t look good
whatever those messages are, there is a way to deliver that with authenticity, but also with empathy, so that employees can leave feeling that they can do something more, right? beating someone down doesn’t help them learn from the interaction and then get better.
Amy: Really powerful, really powerful messages. Early on in your career, you’ve worked a lot in hospitality, haven’t you? And early on in that career in hospitality, what was it that an excellent leader taught you?
Prudence: Yes, she taught me to be visible and she taught me to ensure that I am not only the HR person, but I’m also Prudence. And I started off in HR where being present was how I was rated, was how my performance was considered to be good, right? Prudence is at her desk, she’s there when I
need her. literally present, And so, when I moved into hospitality, hospitality is all about the people and all about getting to know individuals and ensuring that you’re not just a person behind the desk that someone comes to. That they see you in the halls, they see you at other meetings that are not necessarily considered to be HR meetings, and having a leader really helped me understand that, not from a you should get out more, but from a, this is what’s important about getting to know individuals. Stopping by the housekeeping department as they’re starting their meeting, right? And hearing how many rooms they have to clean today and what are some of the things that they experienced the day before. Stopping by sales and catering and hearing the excitement around, closing a big deal and knowing that next weekend is going to be really busy and it’s all hands on deck.
For me, it made it easier when I had to have those difficult conversations, or when I needed support on some of the initiatives that I needed to drive from an HR standpoint, because I was not only the person, waist up behind a desk, I was the person who would, roam the halls and make sure that I get to know individuals as well.
And so that was really powerful for me to have a leader, talk me through her journey and she’d spent her entire career in hospitality, and help me make the transition from a different industry into hospitality.
Amy: So important. We, hear that a lot, actually. As Headtorch, we work with lots of different organizations and helping them to develop a mentally healthy culture, and we do hear that a lot, how often leaders can become estranged almost from their team, and they lose that sense of visibility.
And it’s almost like people forget how important it is to be out there face to face. What would you suggest to overcome that?
Prudence: Yeah, I think it’s a matter of starting and it’s a matter of recognizing the value for each individual and each industry and each organization, things are different, right? You have organizations that are really globally dispersed. And so, being front and centre, if you will, is not always possible, as often as we’d like, but making it a duty to have those individual connections with, the team and peers as well.
I think sometimes we focus very much on who’s on my team, but by extension, who are the individuals who are peers that we should spend time with as well? If you have the opportunity to be in person, and I think personal connections are powerful and not a drive by connection, if you will, right? So being in an office and kind of being on Zoom calls all day long is not connecting, right if you’re only kind of running into each other as you go to the restroom. But being deliberate about making sure that you have those touch points, and when you have those touch points, that they are adding value, that they’re meaningful, and that you’re pausing to make eye contact and to ask someone how they’re doing and actually pause to get the answer, when you ask them how they’re doing, and more importantly, asking what support someone needs.
Like, how can I help you? What can I, help you with? The first time or two you might get the kind of vanilla responses. If you continue to do it, you continue to build a bond and individuals recognize, wow, she really does care how I’m doing. Oh, she really does care about how she can help me. So I think not only being in person and being visible, but having actual connection. And there is a way to do it electronically as well, if that’s the only way, but also making time for in person as much as possible, adds a ton of value.
Amy: Yeah, fantastic. It’s really about us making the effort, isn’t it? And also what I’m hearing is that how important the continued effort is. I think we pick up on that also. It’s quite often that people will start and then it fades away. And so we’re not building that trust then, if it’s not being done on a regular basis.
Prudence: Yeah, yeah. I interviewed a podcast guest, recently and, and she said it brilliantly. She said, let it be repetition and let it be authentic to you because if you fake it, people will see right through that. So if you are saying, how are you doing? And you’re not pausing for a response, it’s clear it’s a check the box exercise and then it’s more annoying than anything. But if you’re really pausing, and if you’re sharing a little bit about yourself as well, How was your weekend? To be honest, mine was, really nice and this is why it was really nice. And I had all five of my children celebrating my birthday.
And then it gets into, whoa, you have five children? Hopefully they would know that, before then, but it might be something like, whoa, I didn’t know it was your birthday, happy belated birthday, or something along those lines. And then it becomes a little bit more personal, and that individual, might feel a little bit more comfortable to share then, but certainly in the future if it becomes, the norm.
Amy: Yeah, absolutely. Always important to celebrate birthdays, Prudence. I hope you had a good cake.
Prudence: Yes, yes, I love tiramisu, and they made sure I had tiramisu.
Amy: Oh, perfect. Perfect. So let’s move on to some experiences that you’ve had that haven’t been so pleasurable. Talking about being on the wrong end of, of poor leadership, you’ve had some experience of that, I believe.
What was that like for you?
Prudence: It was a situation in the workplace where I was brought in, in a role that someone who was in the organization wanted. And of course I had no visibility to any of this. And it started in the offer letter process, actually, which should have been a red flag, but, hindsight is, is 20 20. And when my offer letter came through after going through what I thought was a really good interview, process, the title was different.
It was a more junior title than I had interviewed for and a title that I’ve had, years back in, in my experience. And so I was able to have the conversation and, and have the, the offer letter corrected. But what happened was it was clear a few months into the role that the leader valued that other individual, more.
And it showed up in the types of things that I, I was working on. And even though I was in a senior enough role in, in my career at that point, I didn’t have quite have my voice yet. I didn’t speak up enough for myself. And so I feel as if some of these showed up now in my career, I would be able to address them in a way that would help me and the leader and the organization as a whole to get to a better place.
But because I didn’t have the confidence to speak up, for myself, and I, I thought that things would get worse if I spoke up. Actually, things got worse because I didn’t speak up. I just took all of what was happening, to me and recognizing that, hmm, I shouldn’t be working on this, right?
This doesn’t match the job description, but the leader was appeasing the other individual, right? And saying, even though this individual was brought in at this title that you wanted, I am going to give you the work and have her work on something more, junior. And so it showed up in many ways as far as meetings that I would get invited to, trips that I would take versus that individual.
And I can’t blame the other individual who wanted the role, right? Of course, I blame the leader, because the leader should have known better and should have handled it in a different way. There’s a lot that should have been fixed before I got to the organization, but there certainly was an opportunity to address what was being handled as it was being handled, and that was certainly one of the most disappointing points in my career.
Amy: Thank you for sharing that, Prudence. So it sounds to me like there was certainly a lack of clarity of role, but we talk a lot here about, justice, fairness in the workplace, and it sounds like there was a lot of injustice happening there.
Prudence: Yeah.
Amy: What else was the leader not doing that they should have been doing?
Prudence: Outside of, not having me in the right meetings, not sharing with me openly what was taking place, we could have potentially gotten to a better place had the employee not, in a very unprofessional way, shared with me what was happening. I wouldn’t have quite put the pieces, together.
It almost felt as if someone else interviewed me and then plopped me with this later. What was happening just didn’t make sense to me. It was like, wow, it was a really good interview process, what went wrong? So when my peer, had this kind of outburst and, just shared what she thought she should be doing versus me and how many times she’s told the leader that I should be working on different things,
that’s when I started to put the pieces together. And again, I still didn’t speak up for myself. I looked for another job, right? That’s how. That’s how I handled it. And I mentor a group of HR professionals today. And one of the things that I really stress with them is having your voice and speaking up for yourself, even if it doesn’t get you to a better place, being able to professionally and authentically share how you’re feeling and what you’re experiencing and asking questions. Because sometimes things are not black and white. They’re not as they seem. But asking those questions, can help you and will help you get to a better place.
Of my five children, two of them are our daughters. And while I teach all of my children to have their voice, I’m instilling it in them. young, I admire my daughters for speaking up and recognizing that they have their voice now. My older daughter graduated college earlier this year and she’s working and she’s already had one difficult situation to deal with and I was actually traveling, but my husband, dealt with that one and I was so proud of the advice that he gave her and how she acted on it quickly and how
lighter she feels at work being able to address the situation and move on. And I’m like, yes, this is exactly what should be happening in the workplace. People speaking up and helping others recognize how their actions and decisions impact others and ways in which they can act differently. And then if someone truly does not care, then you can make those decisions, but many times it’s a matter of not having the ability to recognize how your actions and your words are impacting others.
Amy: Yeah, yeah. It’s about leaders actually creating a space that is where people can feel psychologically safe to say this is not okay. but actually, it’s also about being true to yourself. So if you don’t feel safe to speak up, then actually sometimes making the move to move elsewhere is, it can be the right thing, right?
Prudence: Yeah, yeah. I, I believe so. What, what I think is different is making the decision to move someplace else may have been the right thing to do, but not taking the time to use my voice to ask the questions and to share how I was feeling and how certain things landed didn’t serve me well.
And so, kind of carrying that baggage, for a while is not healthy, and even though I had certainly many venting sessions, with my, my husband, my unpaid therapist, it’s not the same as being able to have those authentic conversations.
Amy: Yeah. And if you had felt able to speak up at that time, how do you think your leader might have reacted?
Prudence: It’s hard to tell, but being in other organizations where I have spoken up, I have one situation that was I’ll classify as being terrible, and I had the difficult conversation with the leader, and the first conversation did not go well. The leader was very defensive, did not let me get through all of my prepared talking points, if you will.
But the second time around, so she, got off the call, reflected, and we had a follow up meeting. And the second time around, I took a different approach of asking a lot of questions versus sharing, how I felt in the different situations that had impacted my well being negatively in the workplace.
And she was very transparent in saying in all of my 20 plus years in the workplace, no one has ever given me this kind of, feedback and I was able to work with that leader for months later and see a difference in how she led and see that having those conversations actually was meaningful, not only to me, but to others in the workplace. And so I was glad that I spoke up then, but also if both of us did to make space to have the follow up conversation and the first conversation was the only one, that wouldn’t have been a good experience, and I probably wouldn’t have been as bought in to having those difficult conversations when things go wrong.
But that one, if that is any indication, that is a possibility that if I had spoken up, sooner, whether taking the information from the colleague who shared it with me and going back to the leader to say, hey, let’s talk about, do I have a future here and what are some of the things that I can do different? Or what are some of the things that you’re committing to? That could have created a different workplace, but it’s difficult to tell.
Amy: Yeah. Difficult to tell. However, it sounds like on that second scenario, you managed upwards, brilliantly in terms of, just keeping at it.
Prudence: Yes. Yes. At some point it becomes necessary, right? It’s difficult being a woman in the workplace, and it’s difficult being a black woman, and if I am taking all of my experiences from other workplaces and taking it into workplaces as I go along and not pausing to recognize what are the differences and to ask the questions.
It doesn’t as I said before, serve me well for my future or for the conversations that I have at the dinner table, in the evening. At some point, my family is going to say, geez, is anything going right? And so at some point, I need to have those good stories to share. And sometimes you have to turn those into good by at least attempting to do so.
Amy: Yeah. Wow. Thank you. Thank you. So in a nutshell, what would you say it means to be an authentic leader Prudence?
Prudence: I think an authentic leader is definitely a great communicator. And to be a great communicator, it’s important that you listen more than you speak. And listen with the intent to understand. You know, I’m in meetings all the time, and I see someone say something, and you see someone go, and the minute they do that, they’re not getting anything.
After the point that they decided that they needed to respond to, they missed the rest. Even if the rest is responding to what they thought was not clear. And it’s really important to fully listen and to ensure that you understand before you get to that point of interjecting and asking questions. I think it’s an important skill in one on one, certainly in group meetings to be, authentically present and to ensure that when you’re there, you’re really there,
and that you’re listening from a place of good intention, right? Clarification is super important. I also think it’s important to be a continuous learner. An authentic leader recognizes that he or she does not know everything and that there’s more information that they could learn and that they should continue to ask questions and to learn from
everyone around them, right? Continuous learning means you’re getting in and you’re recognizing what are the trends, right? What’s, out there that you need to be aware of, but also what are people saying? How are they feeling? How are they interpreting different things? And so for me, I’m learning from my six year old, right?
And how he communicates and some of the things that are important to him and how he’s different from my older children. I’m learning from people in the workplace. I’m learning from how others respond to difficult situations and recognizing that my approach, even though I might think it’s thoughtful, there is a better approach out there.
And so I think continuous learning, really clear and, two way communication are two of the main things that I think about when I think about authentic leadership.
Amy: Fantastic. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you Prudence.
What thoughts and comments have people been adding into the chat?
Angus: Okay, we’ve got a nice comment here from Deborah Agnes. Good to see you on the Wellbeing Hour Deborah, and she says, Let me learn how you can lead out of different strengths, out of who you are. The brave can also own their weaknesses and work as a team to cover what is needed. What’s your thoughts on that, Prudence?
Prudence: Wow, It’s hard to think about a response, right? I, I feel as if this is very heartfelt and it’s more advice, if you will. I love the word brave. When I hear brave, I think of about Brene Brown. And I think about Brene Brown’s work around authenticity and being able to be truly, who you are.
And I know she talks about being brave quite a bit. And I also think I am learning to be brave, and as I share the stories that I’ve shared so far, that’s definitely not how I would describe myself earlier in my career, and I don’t think I’m truly brave now, but I recognize that I am becoming
more brave than I have been. So when I hear you share that Angus, I think more of this as a sharing for us, and for some reason I anchor to the word brave.
Angus: I agree with you there. I think the word brave is, you’ve mentioned about having your own voice and speaking up, and that is a brave thing to do in itself. Yeah.
Prudence: Yeah, absolutely. Absolutely.
Amy: Wonderful. Trudy Giordano, you have said, yes, empathy and humanity has been the most valuable aspects of authentic leadership that has enhanced my wellbeing at work. Being open and inviting to knowing employees as a whole person and encouraging professional and personal interests. Yeah, so what more can we do to know the whole person, would you say?
Prudence: Yes. Hi, Trudy. Thanks for sharing. Trudy’s a dear friend. So when I think about the whole person, that is something that I share with leaders as well. And it’s almost as if there’s some leaders who need that HR permission to say, okay, HR said the whole, person. And obviously, we never want to violate any laws or anyone’s privacy, but starting with questions, right?
How was your weekend? And see what someone shares. How are you taking care of your wellbeing? What are some of the things you’re most proud of? And that’s some of the questions that I ask when I get on calls with leaders, especially when I have them in a group, because I want them to learn from each other.
And I ask, what are some aspects of your wellbeing that you are really proud of? And for me, it’s writing in a gratitude journal for, one thousand and thirty eight days, I think yesterday was, consistently. And I started many years ago of documenting this in an app, and I would start and stop and start and stop.
And then I got to the 90 day mark and the app shook and all these balloons came streaming down on the app and I was locked in, right? Nothing like a celebration to get you truly locked in. So that’s one thing I’m really proud of. I’m also authentic in sharing that there are some days that it feels like a check the box exercise.
So what are three things that I’m grateful for? And I’m grateful for my husband. I’m grateful for my children. I, you know, like I do all the basics, but it also feels let me just get this out of the way to do my check mark. But then there are times when I pause and say, I’m better off not doing it if I’m not really being thoughtful, because even though, yes, I’m grateful for my husband and my children, if I’m doing it just to have the alert and the reminder go away, then I’m truly not being grateful, right?
And I’m not being present and I’m not being in the moment. So I share that as well with leaders to say, not every day I’m, bouncing off the walls with gratitude. There are some days that I have to remind myself to pause and be grounded and to truly think beyond the obvious of what I’m being, what I’m being grateful for.
The other thing, too, is as I go throughout the day, I know that at the end of the day, I’ll get that reminder, right? What are some of the things that I was grateful for? And if I’m spending my day in a funk, right? Like really being in a crappy mood and not moving past some of the more difficult parts of the day, it’s harder to find things to, to be grateful for.
And so I try to be a little bit more mindful, a little bit more, present, and that helps my overall wellbeing. When I share that, leaders recognize that wellbeing is not only about running the marathon and, eating really clean and healthy all three or however many meals of the day, but they recognize that it could be something smaller.
It could be a 10 minute walk, taking that break and go out and taking a 10 minute walk. And they start to recognize that it’s the little things that we do to help ourselves be whole that overall enhances our wellbeing.
Amy: Lovely, thank you. And sometimes I think it’s sharing our own stuff encourages other people to share theirs, right? So, that’s a really powerful gift. Thanks Prudence.
Prudence: Yeah,
Angus: We have a comment here from Kathleen Harkins. Hello, Kathleen. Good to see you as well. It can be hard to define authentic leadership, but easy to see inauthentic leadership. And she goes on to say, I’ve left an organization due to inauthentic leadership. What’s your thoughts on that, Prudence
Prudence: Yeah, I absolutely agree. I think leaders sometimes don’t recognize how transparent they are, and how easy it is to see through what is not authentic, and also that employees are not only in the workplace for the pay check, there are some that will stay for the pay check, but for a time, having the connection to the organizational values, but also a connection to an individual in the workplace is so very important.
So I’m not at all surprised to hear of individuals moving on when they find that the Individuals that they work with most closely, whether that’s their peers or their direct leader, is not being authentic, and so I help leaders understand the importance of repetition as it relates to connecting with their employees and also pausing to again, share about themselves, but also learn from the employees as well.
The other thing, too, is there are times when there are situations beyond a leader’s control, and so they just feel as if because it’s beyond my control, I don’t have to address it. But employees appreciate leaders who are sharing we’re in this together and being able to share that I feel your pain.
I understand what you’re going through. This is beyond my control, but this is what’s within my control and this is how I’m going to attempt to, make your work more meaningful and more enjoyable. Employees appreciate that as well. So while an organization might be focusing on things that a leader might not be bought into, employees appreciate leaders who are meeting them where they are as well.
Amy: Lovely. And that really ties into actually what Julie Kemp’s talking about here, I think, in terms of being compassionate and how it’s all actually within our gift to show that compassion, to each other, and she’s saying, once you start, others follow. I think that really ties into what you just mentioned there, as well, doesn’t it, Prudence?
Prudence: Yeah, hi Julie. Yes, one of the things I think about, I was not in this, meeting, but I trust the person who told me the story. A group of individuals joined a meeting and an employee said, I got engaged over the weekend. And silence. And then the leader said, yeah, so today’s first topic.
And I thought, there is no way. And this individual who was telling me, she was like, Prudence, I’m telling you. And then I heard it again from someone else, and I was like, how would you possibly have someone share that they got engaged with? And you kept going, right? It just, to me, it just seems so not human, and to think that there are multiple individuals there and no one took the time to pause to say, hold on a second, let’s celebrate, Prudence’s engagement, but I think that speaks to not only compassion, but I feel like a little bit of humanity, there as well.
And even if there’s someone going through a divorce, you still have to be able to pause to celebrate someone who got engaged, right? I could think of different reasons why this leader probably didn’t celebrate this employee, but I don’t think any of them are good enough. And you think about individuals who are sick, right?
And having a leader saying, but I really need you. For someone to actually say, I’m sick, I feel as if they’re really sick because there are many individuals who are a little sick and still work. And when we get to the point of saying you’re sick, you either think you’re contagious or you believe you’re not able to get your work done.
So, to have a leader come back and pretty much tell you that you don’t know your own body and the job needs you more than how you need to take care of yourself. I think those are some four examples of leaders not showing compassion and it’s heartbreaking.
Amy: Yeah, absolutely. And so, it really ties in obviously with when somebody’s struggling with their mental health as well, and how, unfortunately, even now, some people, yeah, just are too flippant about it, really.
Prudence: yeah.
Toughen up is what I’ve heard, right? They should toughen up. When I’ve heard individuals say, I’ve been through worse, I’m thinking, no, no, no. Everyone deals with situation, in a different way, and so it’s important to meet individuals where they are, provide suggestions and resources when you can, but at the very least, ask them what they need.
If someone’s sharing something with you, if there’s a reason for that, and so pausing to ask what their expectations are is really powerful and helpful.
Amy: Absolutely. Great. Let’s move on to hear your top tips then Prudence. We’ll just share those on camera for those who are joining us live. So your first top tip is communicate clearly, transparently and often. Tell us a little bit about that.
Prudence: Yes, I think I shared a little bit about this in my overview about authentic leadership, the importance of communication, and that it’s a two way street, not only sharing information, and even those leaders who are in remote or hybrid situations where you’re sharing information and many times it’s either in a group setting, in a timed video call, or it’s an email,
providing an opportunity for feedback. So putting it out there, if you have any feedback, please put them in the chat or reach out to me directly. I think it’s really powerful. And if it’s an email, having that, if you have any feedback or questions, use this email if you have a different email for that,
or reply to this one. The often portion, I think, is also important. It’s important to ensure that the communication is open, but it’s also ongoing. And things change so much around us, and having that direct line of communication in the workplace is really, really important.
Amy: Foster an inclusive work environment.
Prudence: Inclusivity in the workplace I feel at times can be a buzzword. And leaders who are recognizing how they’re being inclusive and when they’re not is really powerful. I like to talk about inclusivity as it relates to being at a party, right? You get invited to the party and you’re super excited because you made it to the invite list.
But you get there and they’re playing your jam, right? It’s your music. And they’re individuals who are dancing, right? And inviting you to dance. You don’t have to just sit on the sidelines, you’re fully a part of that party. You leave a little bit sweaty, right because you were there actually dancing and enjoying the party,
you were not just present. And I paint that picture to help leaders think about not only inviting employees to the table. Not saying, Oh, I have these individuals on the team. I invited them to the meeting. Making space for them to share, and when they do share, celebrate them, sharing, ask for more information, invite them, don’t have it be a situation where, it just lands on deaf ears and you move on to the next agenda item. And so I think inclusivity is huge in the workplace and leaders it’s important to recognize that it’s beyond the individual being present. It’s making sure that they have a voice and not only a seat at the table.
Amy: I love the image of the party. That’s fantastic. Show that you care by practicing empathy. You’ve mentioned this already a few times.
Prudence: Yeah, Absolutely.
Absolutely.
Amy: And be a continuous learner and create an environment of continuous learning for others.
Prudence: Yes, yes. Sharing examples of how you are learning. For me, I don’t read as many books as I would like to, but when I do read books, I ensure that I’m sharing that with others and what was most important and some of the takeaways from the books. But if it’s an article, sharing that, what are my favourite points in that article?
What are the call outs? When I pause to watch a TED talk, right what were some of the takeaways and why I thought that was really good. And if I’m taking a course internally or externally, sharing my learning from those and asking others, how do you like to learn? And what has been your most recent learning? And having competitions.
I did this in a previous organization where we had competitions around certain learning modules because we had a learning platform that was available to us and while there were some organizational specific learnings it gave us a wealth of additional learning that we could choose from. And it was really interesting to see some of the topics that others were interested in and how they were sharing that in the workplace.
Learning certainly goes beyond the necessary learning, if you will, and the business learnings. There’s so much more that we should ensure that we continue to learn.
Amy: I love that. Remove blockers and encourage a balance between work and life.
Prudence: Yes. And this is not a one size fits all. Some individuals might think, oh my goodness, you have so many children, you, you can’t travel, right, or you need the most flexible work schedule. I’ve taken 60 flights this year alone. Thankfully. I took my last one on Friday. I have a village
is what I like to say. I have the support system to be able to do a lot, and to be able to travel. quite a bit. So what’s balanced for me would not be balanced for someone else. They’re individuals, they’re empty nesters, their children are out of the home, but they’re taking care of an elderly parent and so they can do zero travel or very little travel.
So recognizing what each individual needs to feel balanced at work. Some people need a flexible schedule. Some people need a certain setup at work to be able to be whole. Having those individual conversations will help leaders recognize ways that they can remove those blockers and help an individual truly be whole.
Amy: Yeah. Wow. I love that. I have a village of support. That’s fantastic.
Prudence: Yes.
Amy: I’m going to work on that Prudence. Share your own wellbeing practices. And I think you’ve shared some of that already actually today, haven’t you Prudence?
Yes, yes. for me, I struggle with diet, sleep, and exercise. I’m sure I’m not the only one, but I remember being in a previous organization where I shared that with a leader, and we had our weekly one on one Thursdays at 11 a. m., and the first few Thursdays, he was checking in, and after a while I recognized, oh, he really does care, so I need to focus more on this so I have better stories to share, because he really is, checking on me, and those are the things that I continue to struggle with, and, it’s one of, one of my birthday gifts to myself.
I made a commitment last week to, be better at prioritizing all three.
Lovely. Okay, Prudence, it’s time for the quickfire questions. Are you ready?
Prudence: I am ready.
Amy: here goes. Question number one. What does vulnerability mean to you, Prudence?
Prudence: Vulnerability means being true to myself and also making sure that I am a little bit more transparent than I feel comfortable with.
Amy: Nice. What little thing do you notice, zoom into, or celebrate every day?
Prudence: Gratitude.
Amy: What message would you give your younger self?
Prudence: Use your voice.
Amy: What message would your younger self give you?
Prudence: Don’t underestimate yourself.
Amy: Ah, beautiful. And what do you say to leaders who use only plasters or give lip service to workplace mental health and wellbeing?
Prudence: It is harder to only use lip service. It is easier to be authentic, because everyone is going through something. So, tap a little bit into yourself, and it will be easier for you to tap into others.
Amy: On that note, Prudence, thankyou so, so much. I’m going to hand over to Angus.
Angus: Prudence that was fantastic. You really used your voice today and it came through loud and clear. You talked about empathy, you talked about the human face of who you are being visible. I’m not only an HR person, I’m Prudence. It’s such an important message getting that authenticity coming across. The repetition as well, what comes over is that this doesn’t just happen.
One of the questions I was going to ask you is this nature or nurture or is it both? But that repetition I think comes across that maybe it is a bit of both.
Prudence: I do think it’s a bit of both because when I think about how I was raised and how I have experienced the workplace, there’s definitely a difference. I think if I think about respect and how respect was viewed when I was growing up and the fact of the boss is always right.
Very few people nowadays say boss, right? It’s my leader, it’s my manager, is how we say it. So it’s not only about a boss, it’s about how can we learn from each other and how can we think about the value that each individual brings. So I do believe it’s, both nature and nurture. I think it’s probably more nurture than nature.
Angus: Thank you, thank you. You also talked about being brave and speaking up, having your voice and speak up. I love the fact that vulnerability is being more transparent than you feel comfortable with. So, Prudence, if having five kids between the ages of 29 and 6 gives you this much energy, I definitely should have had more children.
Yeah. you. Thank you so much for being on the Wellbeing Hour. We greatly appreciate it. Yeah, it was a wonderful Wellbeing Hour. Sorry to the questions we didn’t get to. There are a few there that we didn’t get to. Sorry about that. But thank you, Prudence. It was wonderful having you here and it’s our honour to have you on the Wellbeing Hour.
Prudence: Yes, it’s my pleasure to be here. Thanks everyone so much for joining. It’s such a pleasure to see the comments, and Angus and Amy and Nick, thank you so much for this opportunity. This has been great.
Angus: That’s a great pleasure. Thank you. So, coming up on the Wellbeing Hour, for December we are going to take the Wellbeing Hour off for Christmas. So there’s no Wellbeing Hour in December. And then in January we have Kath Pendleton. Kath is the Merthyr Mermaid. and she’s talking about the Merthyr Mermaid mentality that is a tongue twister.
And she has swam in the Antarctic. She has a Guinness World Record for a mile for females at the most southerly point of the of the Antarctic, And she’s got a really good program, of those of you who have got access to the BBC iPlayer you will see the Merthyr Mermaid there, a really interesting program.
So join us 29th of January at 12 noon, GMT. And we look forward to seeing you all again there. That is it for the Wellbeing Hour. Thank you all very, very much. If you’d like to hear more about Headtorch and what we do, we have tailored solutions for senior leaders, people managers, and direct and indirect staff,
so please get in touch. My contact details are there. And, you could also scan that QR code. Please also follow us on LinkedIn, that will keep you in touch with the free events that we run, and what’s going on at Headtorch. Thank you again, it was great to see everybody, and that is it from the Wellbeing Hour.
Thank you.
Amy: Thank you.